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[07 Oct 2011|04:48pm]
by this point my cheeks were red and the trees yellow. now I never had the right to say I didn’t believe in anything. i saw and felt and conquered everything.
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[17 Apr 2011|03:35pm]
i don't know when my wardrobe started fitting into one backpack, or when it started consisting of nothing but flannel and hankerchiefs. my hair is glued together by wheatpaste and i love the smell of my sweat. this is the lifestyle i've chosen.
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[17 Apr 2011|12:42pm]
I ruin most things I touch. But I have the best of intentions.

I don’t think my sanity is up for being questioned yet; maybe my level of compliance.
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[17 Apr 2011|12:35pm]
Its awful that I know you are full of wonder and beauty, but you only divulge to me your outer layer. I am sincere, but you look at me too closely; always. I've hated your big bright eyes for so long now; enough to draw me in.
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[10 Apr 2011|07:55pm]
Just found out my first love got engaged. I shouldn't be this sad?
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[26 Mar 2011|04:03pm]
I’m collecting addictions, all while throwing out convictions. Remember when our skin was innocent and inkless? Our laughs were fueled not by whiskey but by the fire inside. The words sound silly coming out; I felt more comfortable in my own skin then. The wind from the ocean is the kind that I miss. On nights as still as these, I find myself counting seconds between passing cars. Its a ghost town.
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[21 Feb 2011|01:23pm]
will forever be a fuck up
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[12 Jan 2011|02:55am]
I reach out towards people. I put in an effort- much more of an effort than is ever received on my end. That in itself makes me lonely. just lonely.

also let's consider the fact that I hate humankind, so the people I do try to bond with mean at least a speck of something to me. I know that I am awkward in social situations. but now it has followed me into every day life. it's a weirdness that I can't seem to conquer, even though the weirdness is me.

what did you do when this ugly feeling overcame you? when it overcame you every night?
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[19 Dec 2010|11:17pm]
Two cigarettes to go. I choose the lucky one to light up on the back porch. It is a winter night that is as bright as a summer's day. The shadows of the leafless trees dance on the freshly fallen snow. It is enough moonlight to mesmerize.
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[19 Dec 2010|09:39pm]
I am okay with it all.
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[14 Sep 2010|08:32pm]
There's nowhere I'd rather be right now than inside my own head.
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[09 May 2010|11:40pm]
If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start.
This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery—isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It’s the only good fight there is.

— Charles Bukowski
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[16 Apr 2010|02:47am]
summer is itching at my skin and creeping under my clothes, winking at me behind those leafless trees
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[08 Jan 2010|05:43pm]
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[01 Jan 2010|02:17pm]
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[15 Dec 2009|09:23pm]
I can't write anythingCollapse )
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[14 Aug 2009|02:05pm]

“The traveler was active; he went strenuously in search of people, of adventure, of experience. The tourist is passive; he expects interesting things to happen to him. He goes “sightseeing.”

— Daniel J. Boorstin, 1961
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[31 Jul 2009|12:36pm]
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[21 Jul 2009|12:33pm]
My search is over. The metaphysical questions have all been answered. Every aspect of my being is always right there in front of me. I am my lipstick, my lotion, my jeans, my condoms, my condiments- a thousand points of light that shine brighter than the stars. God is dead, but I'm more alive than ever. My cream is exactly me.
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[22 Mar 2009|08:57pm]

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